Resort Vacations

Over Xmas and New Years this year, I did what a lot of Canadians do in the dead of winter - go somewhere tropical. This year it was Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. This is only the second time I've been on a hot vacation, largely because it is not my preferred type of vacation. I much prefer going to cities like Boston, Montreal, or New York. But I digress, overall the trip was a decent time but I'm not going to go into what I did, the daily events, and how nice the beach was. That's boring, and everybody comes back from tropical vacations saying it was gorgeous, we had fun, and the liver hurts.

This year I went with a good friend of mine (female, and no we aren't and no we didn't) and a couple from Alberta that are good friends with both of us. Small group, and naturally we ended up meeting different groups of people. People from Ontario, Britain, and upstate New York. Along with Michael Winslow of Police Academy fame (the sound effects guy). The group from Ontario of 25 came a day after we did, so we got drunk in the pool with them one day and our group was "adopted" into their group for the week. However, I was disowned later in the week (but that is another story). No biggy, because a British family adopted me, and they were MUCH more fun. One lesson I learned, I can't outdrink Brits in their mid-40s. Early 20's, yes, but not late 40s.

Having grown up in a relatively small city of about 15,000 people I have noticed some incredible parallels between a week at a resort and life in a small town. That week was a microcosm of what life in a small town is like. It is amazing on these huge resorts that you meet and hang out with the same people night after night, because you seek out people that are leaving within a day or two of you. So, very quickly everyone knows your story - single or married, where you are from, what do you do for a living, and whether you like candlelight dinners and long walks on the beach.

Now, it is great to meet other people, especially from other countries. However, there are consequences to this. This is where the similarities to a small town comes in. On a resort, there are only a handful of places to go at night - two or three lobby bars, a disco, and maybe a casino and theatre. So, unless you want to spend the night in your room "getting away" is very difficult because there is a very finite number of places in a small area that one can be at night. For people who know me, I do just fine on my own and I require some time to myself to keep my sanity. It becomes even more difficult to get away if someone at the resort hasn't seen the movie "He's just not that into you" and refuses to leave you alone. In a small town this is exactly the same. It is impossible to get away if someone wants to find you. In my old stomping ground of Swift Current for example, there are only a handful of decent nightspots so unless you want to try to pub crawl as an evasive maneuver you are at the mercy of geography and odds. I was naive to think that submitting to the urges of the evil monster gamblor that I could get away from some of the people who we getting on my nerves by hiding in the casino. It worked. For a grand total of 1.5 HOURS! I was found easily. Sniffed out if you will. I did make one crucuial and tragic mistake. I told one person where I was going, and not even my friend who I came with (she's like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld, her ability to keep her mouth shut is SEVERELY worsened by alcohol).

So, why the big effort in even trying to find me? Why just not leave the guy be you may ask. Well, I'll tell you. Imagine a house party is going on in a small town and someone you like and have a history with is all over somebody else. So, do you cause drama or do you avoid drama? If you choose to avoid drama, then you have to leave the party. But where do you go? It's a small town, and all your friends are at this party. Except one. And you know where this person is. So, you go and find them. But, someone tags along because she has been wanting to find this other person too, for other reasons. For the record girls, if a guy is interested you really shouldn't have to work hard. Read the signals. Nice guys won't tell you anything, but they will AVOID.

Another thing I noticed was that resort vacations are different than other vacations in the speed life happens. When you go to a place like Boston, you tour around, see some sights, and see what the nightlife has to offer. However, there isn't that sense of urgency and everything runs at the same speed as you are used to. Resorts, however, are completely different, especially for single people. Single people typically go down to resorts looking to hook-up. It's perfect, you probably won't see the person again, and as long as you don't find a clinger it's the last you will hear and see of them. With facebook that's not as true as it used to be, but the concept still applies. Let's say you meet someone. And also let's say the person you meet is there on a family vacation with parents. So, for a commitment phobe like myself this scares the crap out of me. You meet the parents immediately. How do you have a one-nighter with parents around? You have to make a very difficult decision. If it isn't the last night or two, then you have to make a decision - do you want a steady mate for the week or do you cut bait and find something a lot less complicated. The same thought process goes if you meet someone early in the week and you have to decide whether a one-nighter is actually possible. I had to go through this on night three, and decided to cut bait. Which brings me back to the small town. Unless the person is not a local how do you successfully pull off a one-nighter without having it bite you in the ass in the future. It's very tough. On a resort, if someone is leaving tomorrow then the mate can be considered a non-local because he or she won't be here for the rest of the week. However, if your mate is leaving around the same time as you are and it's only night three then there is a decision to be made. It's not an easy one (especially if you are attracted to the person). My decision was quite easy, because I'm a shallow bastard.

In summary, my next vacation is definitely NOT going to be tropical.

Enough on this for know, but keep this in mind the next time you go to a resort and just observe.

Cheers.